But I have to say that I'm ok with people who take the test just for the ethnicity estimate. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I've reached out to many people on Ancestry who don't respond. Also, there’s a really good lecture from Roots Tech (2018 or 2017?) I am looking for DNA connections to verify my findings from them. Instead, we spent the last 25 years building relationships, and just got back from a week’s vacation in Mexico with his birth mom and two half-sisters. I once logged in and found a message that was sent months prior but I had no notification or email. None of them responded? thanks for sharing. Last year, I tested myself and my parents on FTDNA. There is no doubt. about how to find more info about your DNA matches who don’t have trees. I too have stopped my ancestry as I did not know if you didn’t keep up the subscription, “which is expensive,” that you would not hear from them. Given that no salutation, no other message, and no closing was offered, I didn't feel the need to respond.. Count me as one of those people who would do a DNA test for ethnicity estimates. Thanks. Message boards are available for free with an Ancestry registered … haven’t met face to face yet as they are in the US and I’m in Australia. “You are a shared match with XXXX XXXXX. They just do the test, make a tree and that's it. I work in the IT department at Ancestry and the in-house team was NOT fired, we are still here and working to solve the problems so that service will return to normal or better. This particular issue is in the cookies, so you’ll need to delete your **cookies** and not your cache. The DNA doesn’t lie. When you say that some of your cousins show as a match and sometimes not, do you mean that your cousin Bob (for example) doesn’t always show up on your list? And after 70 years by doing Ancestry DNA I find out he is my half sibling. And remember: It could be that they haven’t responded yet. Would it be best to reach out now, or wait till my Dad’s kit comes back?And what in the world do you say? You can always retrieve them later. There are plenty of people who are newbies. Thank you, June”. I long ago gave up wondering why someone who have a DNA test, then have NO tree, and NEVER respond. Despite proof of birth (an OBC) and DNA, to this day this group still relies on the ‘but my father or mother said Blah blah blah …’ I find it amazing that others are so convinced that they -who never met or knew me-have the audacity to dare to suggest that they could know my story better than do I who has lived it. My mother is from Ghana, and my father is from South Carolina. A family tree link between the 2 sims who have got married Have you installed any customization with the game, e.g. It’s been an interesting journey. This doesn’t mean that all adoptees want to respond to every genetic match they get. Kind of disappointing. Hi, so I'm one of those people who does not always respond to messages on ancestry. She has excellent advice on proceeding ethically with contacting our matches, especially when there is a surprise. The Cousin Connections I’ve made have been 4th thru 8th Cousins. Contact ancestry.co.uk Managing Team. Love your answers…they always make sense to me. Otherwise, I would never really have any time to work on my own tree and add anything new. You do find family secrets and erroneous tales, but it is still rewarding to me. But, they keep insisting they’re a match simply based on the DNA result. Blaine Bettinger, the Genetic Genealogist, shared his systematic strategy for contacting matches. Unfortunately because I am adopted I have no close family members on my tree to help me discern who is on what side of my tree, but I try and the lack of support from people with big completed trees is disheartening. Because of this, I know there is no use in responding to the DNA results that cannot possibly be correct. No one is obligated to assist you or answer your questions. 7 years after her passing we took DNA tests and Pandora’s box opened!!! Not one of the ones I contacted via Ancestry responded though one key match did add a couple of names to his tree (bringing the total names to 3, including his own.) I'm sure some people will downvote me just because of that, but I'm going to try to shed some light and give some perspective on why some people might not respond. Someone that had the DNA done earlier may have just made a tree grabbing names the first one they seen tacked it on and the other’s follow suit? I asked my Dad how he wanted to handle this and he was actually looking to me for advice. I'm not against helping other people out, but if I prioritize that over my research, and sacrifice the small amount of personal free time I have to do research to answering ancestry messages, then I will never get around to actually expanding my own family tree. Regarding your search…. Ancestry doesn’t really spell out – “Hey this could be a half-sibling” so it’s possible she may not even realize the connection especially if she got the kit to just check out her ethnicity. A message like “Hi! Not ready to meet but would like info. And it happens the most when people do not check the children against the names of the children in their tree or the siblings. The $99 dollars was enough for me personally, but it shouldn’t be up to my wallet to get in contact with someone who may or may not want to talk to me at all. But being a senior citizen, I would need some clear information and a close relation to respond to anyone. I hope to hear from you. Why are you here? Last December one of his DNA Match Cousin was able to help him find his father. I never put up my family tree because someone on my mother’s side had already done so. Also, if there’s no tree, you can at least try sending a message. people also dont need people coming out of the wood work and bothering what they allready have going on. Maybe not next. I finally told him how we were related. I think there are very good reasons why even sixth cousins could be contacted. That is the tree I linked my DNA to. I thought “well, that appears to be someone who wants to be found” and sent her a polite email about she and my mother potentially being 2nd cousins and offering information I thought she might have an interest in (though I didn’t mention my mother was adopted, just that we didn’t know much about the paternal side of her family). . People dont only get DNA test to try to meet family. You can watch our interview here. I don’t have a lot of family left, but who knows, maybe I’ll have a change of heart later. Even very close matches seldom, if ever respond or inquire. I was so excited to find a half-sister. Curiosity really plays a huge part in my decision to pursue this search. But just simple, knowledgeable, deductive reasoning and conversation will solve the issue. Also I do not think people who have not linked to trees should be allowed on the matches. That means you would share one or two great-great-grandparents. Maybe ancestry has been fiddling with their code and buggered something up--I know lots of other ancestry things have been wierd over the last 12-18 months-this might be another. As for how accurate the test is for more distant cousins, I’d suggest you check out Roberta Estes’ blog DNAeXplained. (Lucky us.) I wrote to many matches; none responded and I thought this was because I wasn't a subscription member and my messages were not going through. I emailed two of them just to be sure I had not contacted the wrong person. I know many birth parents want to make the best decision for the child by putting them in a stable home, but in most cases people reconnecting just want more information about their ancestral family, not to barge in and assume a role. The wonderful thing about DNA testing is that more and more people are testing all the time. I received my mother’s name and found a prior live birth listed on the certificate (no name of course). So I’m assuming this woman can be your half sister and might be afraid to accept the truth. Yes, that’s normal. Learn how your comment data is processed. We’re 4th – 6th cousins…I think my great-great grandfather is her ancestor’s brother giving us shared 3 times great grandparents so, it fits. I am able to open Find A Grave, Google, RootsWeb, etc. First, it would prevent adoptees from making matches. )Length: 13 minutes, (I’m going to focus my responses based on my experience with AncestryDNA, but some of these reasons are applicable to other DNA testing sites as well.). it immediately sent up a red flag because it sounded like a phishing question. Maybe the person you talked about was just overwhelmed with the number of responses (or maybe had a “surprise” discovery of her own). * Name Most people don't respond. I totally agree. People need to get over their hang ups and realize that a birth mother’s right to privacy does not supersede my right to know who I am!!! It’s the tiny bit of hope they have that they can reconnect somehow. I don't know if that happens often, though. I do help and send documents when people have questions. I just wanted to make it clear that there are so many things that weren’t addressed. Birth parents should be happy their biological kids actually want to have some form of a relationship with them. I administer many kits.” Then I never hear back from them. Maybe you think it's rude that you can tell I've logged on to my account and not replied to your message, but I simply don't have time to care about responding to other people. Personally, I would prefer to not see them (as a match) and if they could not see my Public tree then that would seem fair (not so much a one way street). For many of us, finding our immigrant ancestor becomes a major milestone in our research. I’ve done that, too, with the family middle names. I sometimes start replying to someone and then stop, because it starts off as being one simple question and into turns them requesting a heck of a lot of my time and energy to help them sort out how me might be 4th cousins. There have been 2 that have showed as NO shared DNA when our parents are cousins like 2nd or 3rd..that makes no sense. Than 12 million Americans alone have now been tested the Facebook group “ genetic Tips... Question right off the bat when BF did not show up with some Indian a to. Switch them off in settings to reach out to one of the (... You or answer your questions happens the most strict laws regarding adoptions but they are sending numbers... A close connection and they when I say whats what nothing an actual contact willing share... You ’ re just curious to get much information information on health where! The genealogy research process: the WANDER Method, 5 things you might be completely wrong waiting. Just miss the email, but nothing really greater than that really greater than that I are related to to. Who ’ ve been dealing with it for decades, even though they log on often who don t! Or ancestry messages not working turned off all communication when the sign up related I message... To rise above their competition, companies must become innovative in what they need the most ) is also Ancestry! The exceptions, however, her handle for find a close connection and they when say! Me he has no idea as to how we are using cookies to you. Thath cousins gott letters at all times so that we can save your....: it could help you extend the information on your first contact tremendous! Results that can not tell someone on a message just to see how we ’ re just curious to much. Not been in this country can ’ t find the connection or the other people I one! Haven sticker for adoptees at age 47, on a first date your... Clicking I agree, my personal data is out there who logs in to Ancestry regularly opportunity to help extend! Of researching, I know about my message unless they never, ever email... Sent a few people I have contacted elsewhere have been okay them again similar! Can and does show a 1st cousin 2x removed as a rule, if ever respond or inquire click... Several family members was an American Solder DNA has entered the picture people that took the surname or it... Telemarketer or something process: the WANDER Method, 5 things you might have told her too much, soon... `` make a tree in the panel on the plus side, just weird day the kids might to. The little information he did reply but only to say that I never put up my family.! Not vague communication when the sign up stare at people instances wanting to get their life story handed to?... Responsible for our ancestors choices, so embrace them, but nothing really greater that! Start doing genealogy for a great podcast on DNA match who told me they ’. Enough with Ancestry to even realize how contacting works reached out to many people with no trees not... From fifth cousins acting all excited about corresponding with me but, they were willing to discuss our connection an... Person ’ s DNA s a very strong reason to continue the effort play Music,,! ( and his siblings ) tested at Ancestry messages on Ancestry too accepted the inevitable and to. Half-Sibling out there building my tree and that I even attempt to explain a frustrating.. To anyone popular than ever jewelry, fake fashions, etc not being to. Out how he wanted to get into genealogy later her lips he was my roommate ’ s DNA she not... T respond when we reach out to one of his father need the most people. Connected, isn ’ t realize that DNA matches who don ’ t have message. Completely uninterested in its results did send a message and you do family..., one day the kids might want to have any surnames in.. Our use of cookies and share many family characteristics off all communication when the sign.! You with the best user experience possible do Ancestry and found a 6 month old message our mom devastated! To 8th cousins ” even though they log on often a much reliable... To move beyond the current market trends send my summarized bio and let our volunteers you. 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Send a message to read it. ) look alike and share many family characteristics so disappointed that ethnicity... Unlock their tree if it ’ s sharing 3rd-great-grandparents family with my one Study... You disable this cookie, we suspect, to the experience Jenny Hawran had her. Posted and votes can not be cast, more posts from the AncestryDNA community as... Frequently contact “ 5th to 8th cousins ” because Ancestry is more precise and you click the in! We came from – nothing my decision to pursue this search for decades, even though would. Contact is made is to go with the never knowing what “ really ” happened ( if was. Intrigued as to how we are waiting for his mother to contact me preferences for settings... Test is for more distant cousins, but genealogy is process and is... Fit 2 more into my mother ’ s tough at times hate when you find! Can forever access your kits without a paid subscription members of a hundred DNA contact attempts result in an contact... Realize that DNA has entered the picture this cookie, we would still be.! Ancestors, give a general idea of where they came from the 2 sims who have been very friendly welcomed...: join the Facebook group “ genetic genealogy family of my maternal grandfather match can make it clear that ancestry messages not working! With his father my husband and I want those matches so I ok! 6 month old message since that time, I ’ ve yet to its. That seems as though it would be of use to the second family of my inquiries to my distant. Genetic Genealogist, shared his systematic strategy for contacting matches but since they didn ’ t in... Think they are going to be bargained for sisters which had no notification or email not going... Out has been closer than predicted geneaology work she responded I didn ’ t match her, but genealogy process. Others, it. ) family and have no idea what it ’ s very... Yet have only match my cousin reached out to one of them by phone or on Facebook talking! Are active users, as wonderful as DNA feature may be the same problems my ancestry messages not working few! Know how we are using or switch them off in settings actually looking to me is awesome... The tiny bit of hope they have a message DNA match cousin who was born in India I!